Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Perils of A Traveling Photog

Current Location: Midland, Michigan, USA / 43°37′25.0″N 84°13′45.7″W

You know life sucks when:

You go for your first hair cut in two months and all of a sudden the stylist stops cutting, stands behind you in a statue like posture and stares directly at you thru the mirror--and within that very moment as you connect eye to eye via reflective glass, you just know your whole world is going to change.

She asks: "Do you have lice?"
You say: "Psshhh....Not since third grade, lady!"
She says: "Well guess what, you've got lice!"
You say: "@#$!"
Everyone In The Salon Says: "ooooooohhhhh"

You know you've gone away for far too long when:

You drive up to a McDonald's drive thru window to pay for your order and instead of handing over a $10 bill, you accidentally give the teeny-bopper at the window a single $100,000 Indonesian Rupia.

She says: "Sir, we don't accept Monopoly money..."
You say: "What the heck, kid...take the damn cash and give me my change!"

You know you're being profiled when:

Your co-workers avoid being around you--as if you came back with the Ebola virus.

They say: "So, Ron...what did you come back with this time?"
You say: "Why...what do you mean?"
They say: "Oh, you know...like how are you feeling? Any signs of deadly diseases?"
You say: "Hmmm, just the sneezy, itchy, runny nose, and I can't sleep because I'm coughing too much kinda thing!"
They run
(It's ten times worse after this whole lice thing)

You know you're in trouble when:

You tell your doctor you've been having some upset stomach conditions and you tell him where you just came from.

He says: "Did you drink the water there? Did you eat the local food?
You say: "Of course I did! What kind of question is that, doc?"
He says: "Well, you might have a worm or some kind of bacteria living in your stomach"
You say: "A worm? Coool...!!"
He says: "I want you to go take a stool sample for me"
You say: "Go to the furniture store?"
He says: "No, you dumb lens slinging twit...I mean take a shit for me!"
You say: "What the F...you want me to shit in a plastic container for you? @#$%"

13 comments:

TheChicGeek said...

LOL! You are perfect! Thanks for starting my day with a huge smile and a good belly laugh!
Have A Great Day, Ron!

Imnotbenny said...

That last one killed me!

"a worm? cool!" lol

The Demigoddess said...

Hahaha. Remember those conversations we had about swapping jobs? I take them all back. I'm happy working nights.

Anonymous said...

DIRTY KID!
LICE!!! EWWW
GET YOUR MOM TO PICK EM ALL OUT FOR YOU ! HAHA
-AMENDA

Kern said...

haha Awesome. But hey at least you're getting out of that conundrum!

Young Traveler said...

That sucks. For you, I mean.

For your readers? It's awesome.

Love to hear about all of your adventures (even if they involve nutrient sucking parasites).

Jay said...

Haha... everything I ever said about wanting your job... I now decline.

Although --- I literally laughed out loud at the hairdresser story. :( and felt bad for you at the same time.

Glad that you are back home safe and sound.

Carol said...

LOL Ron, too funny! Head lice, usually the plague that parents have to deal with. Have fun de-bugging yourself :-)

Erin said...

HILARIOUS! When I evacuated China because of SARS, I got a lot of crap whenever I'd clear my throat. But at least I didn't get lice!

floreta said...

hahah! at least you're making light of the situation. i can laugh at this but it doesn't sound too fun :(

munak said...

lice? man where u been sleeping? or who u been sharing ur bed with? lol

Fitria said...

Another hillarious story Ron...!! Love it...

Cheryl said...

..So are you just like...infested?