In Reflection

Photo: Floating village in Pataya, Thailand

Current Location: Rayong, Thailand

As a child, unable to sleep, I'd sneak out of bed, tip-toe through complete darkness--and some how, find my way to our living room. Turning on the tube, I'd bathe in its glow as flickering lines of light painted images through the retina of my eyes. Alone, I'd sit in silence, caught in rapture at how the world seemed so close to me--separated merely by glass. For hours I'd watch elephants roam the plains of Africa, men dressed in fur climbed to the top of Everest, and astronauts walked in outer-space.

I'll never forget that feeling. I had the world upon my fingers as I jumped from one adventure to another, channel after channel. It's amazing how twenty five years later, here I am, unable to sleep yet again, and I still find myself lurking in the night--watching in total darkness, total silence.

It's 3am, and after a long day of filming in Thailand's north-eastern region, I'm physically exhausted, yet mentally awake in reminisce. A warm southern breeze howls through my window, casting the sails of my bed sheets to whither with the wind.

Like any tradesmen, photographers have their days. Sometimes, images just frame themselves, people and objects find their way to your viewfinder, natural light and shadows paint the perfect ambiance--and all you have to do is capture what God has given. You feel it in your soul--and ultimately, you do what is innate. Technology does the rest. But there are certain days when nothing falls into place, stars don't align, and the world just seems unbearable. Images go astray, lighting shifts, technology falters--and in the end, after all the yelling and screaming to yourself, you realize that you're the only thing that stands between success and failure. And ultimately, you begin to question how you've gotten thus far. Today was one of those days.

But as I'm sitting here, I've realized that it is only in reflection when I admit to have forgotten what it was like to be that little boy again--to sit there in awe at the images played out before me. As a boy, I viewed the world without borders and savored each and every shot for what it was worth. For years I was him, looking through my viewfinder, devoid of sound, gifted by light, capturing the very elements that define my existence. Being that little boy has gotten me thus far, and on days when things felt out of place, I used to remind myself of those early mornings when I'd awake on my sofa with the television still on.

Sometimes, all one needs is a little reminder of what it was like not so long ago....

Goodnight.

Blogger Note: My apologies for my lack of posts lately due to my hectic travel schedule. As always, I'd love to hear from you. And if you'd like, please feel free to add me to your Facebook--as I update there more often than my blog. Cheers!