Sunday, February 14, 2010

L is for Lily

Photo: Ron and Lily, 1986
Note: For those who do not know the history of me and Lily, please read here on a previous post entitled: My Girl

Dear Lily,

Today is Valentines day, and for some devine reason, I awoke this morning with you on my mind. Last night, I dreamt of you, felt cupids arrows puncture the bottom of my bum--and when I looked down, I saw none other than you. It reminded me of when you bit me...down there.

Wiping eye-poop from my eyes, I sat up on my bed, felt my heart pounding in disarray as I quickly realized that you were only in my dreams, a mere synapse of a moment as my soul wondered through my sleep. Looking into the darkness of my room, I remembered you.

Our first Valentines day was spent together in Mr. Vee's first grade classroom. You looked beautiful that day, dressed in pink with pony tails protruding from your head. Looking at you, I saw my world unfolding in slow motion, complete with dreamy white haze, romantic music and doves flying thru the air. Goose bumps rippled through my body as I sat there and smiled. You turned around, saw me gazing, and handed me my first and only Valentines day card. "Lily" was what you wrote.

It was perfect. On it was the picture of a dinosaur, and in huge red letters, it had a pre-typed message that read, "YOU'RE DINO-MITE."

Walking home, I felt the warmth of your love fill my soul. And when the wind howled, I heard your name. Held tightly in my yellow mittens, I cradled your card in both hands, carefully making sure I'd never lose it.

There were no candle lit dinners that night, no phone calls to say hello or even messages to say goodnight. But I did pray for you, for us, forever. And on my mirror was your card, held up with glue and gum, watching me while I slept.

Lily, I've gone through twenty three Valentines days without you since. I've travelled the world looking for you, searching for your smile once more. I've seen the sun rising over the Ganges, the mountains of the Himalayas, and the plains of the Sahara. I've felt the northern winds gusting through my hair, heard the cry of infant angels, and even touched the hands of sacred Gods--but nothing ever comes close to that sight of you, your touch, your voice, your smile and smell, beauty and grace.

If wishes came true, I'd wish for you. If dreams were real, I'd never stop dreaming of you...because on this day and everyday, I LOVE YOU.

Forever yours,


Zoe said...

Precious :)

Deboshree said...

I sincerely hope that you find her someday or she finds you. I believe in the power of love and eventhough it may sound unrealistic, if you want her that bad, you are sure to find her. Someday..somewhere..when you least expect it.
I hope you find your Lily or she finds her Ron.

Lovely and sad at the same time.

Much love

Anonymous said...

heard the cry of infant angels??

Katherine said...

Oh my goodness...your heartfelt words are absolutely beautiful. I hope that some day you find your Lily!