Sunday, July 19, 2009

Too Damn Tired

Photo: Filming a sunrise on remote island in Hawaii.

When I started this blog, my goal was to take you behind my lens, to show what it's like to live the life of a photographer, to see and feel, touch and taste--virtually, my experiences. And by doing so, I've opened to you my heart, my emotions at its darkest hours, and my soul. Yet, as I'm sitting here typing, my mind is in an utterly-sublime state--trying desperately to find words, to find rhyme and reason for a blog entry that I have no energy to type--but I just feel the need to connect with none other than you--my dear readers.

Because, I know that you will understand.

Mentally, physically, and spiritually, I'm exhausted. My travels have taken me to the end of the world and back, straddling a fine line between equators and time zones, nations and continents that I had once only dreamt of. I can't explain to you in words the feeling of accomplishment, the sheer fact that I can say 'I've been there.' But as my fingers dictate my mental thoughts into printed prose, I cannot lie to you. I cannot sit here and tell you that my travels have been easy--because it hasn't.

Hotels without toilets. Vomiting on the open seas. Camping on lava fields. Sleepless nights with a knife in my hand. Taking showers twice a week. Finding salvation by looking at myself in the mirror.

Right now, I'm too exhausted to care where I am, what I'm seeing or who I'm with. I'm just too damn tired.

This, my friends, is the raw truth of what it's like to do what I do.

***
Status Update: Currently filming on remotes islands off Hawaii. Home in three days.

13 comments:

Carol said...

Take care of yourself Ron when you return home!

Rhiccups said...

*hugs* return home safely and rest well. You deserve it!

Dan Denardo said...

It's not nearly as glamorous as people think it is, eh? I've been in that mode before. If you're anything like me, in a month you'll (mostly) forget the pain of it and remember the positive. It's a hard job. And it's way more physical AND mental than anybody thinks it is. Hang in there, man.

Fantasia Lillith said...

Raw and honest. Finally.
Somehow you know - you will remember the good more than the bad.

AgentRed said...

hi ron! where the F are you? lol just had to say it. This is Muse (formely from x a n a d u). I had to shut down my 4 year old blog..long story and sad but i started my new site. I hate starting over, but hope to see you over there :) Click on my name to get to my profile

btw it's not the mia ninja cat one..lol

TheChicGeek said...

Hi Ron :) Rest, my friend...it's always good to hear from you even when you are exhausted! Funny too, but when you look back years from now the bittersweet memories of the hard times that we get through make us proud...Shows us what we are made of...And, we can say, YES, I lived my life to the fullest :D
Mark Twain says,"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

So rest, my friend, and dream beautiful dreams :)

John said...

Hey bro, that's great to hear that you'll be home sweet home in 3 days. Must be the 3 longest days in you life huh? Take care and stay in one piece.

Linda Lim said...

Ron, you're burned out. The trip is too long. We'll make sure you have time to play as well when we meet again.

Sebastian said...

No one said that living the dream was EASY...!

Just very rewarding :)

floreta said...

yet somehow it is all worth it :)
and that's what keeps you going.

canadasue said...

"Finding salvation by looking at myself in the mirror."

This resonated... thank you.

Diana Saw said...

Wow, thanks for sharing. I only thought of the fun of seeing the world - not the puking in open seas and the lack of hotel facilities. Thanks for bringing the world to us. You're doing important work and I hope your next assignment will go well.

From Cambodia,
Diana

The Rambler said...

Gosh...where the hell had I been..you posted so long ago when you were in Hawaii...

Many sorrys my friend.

Be safe in your current travels.