Wednesday, April 1, 2009

On The Brink Of War

Photo Courtesy of CBC: Staff Photo, 2002-03/First Foreign Assignment
Current Location: Midland, Michigan, USA / 43°37′25.0″N 84°13′45.7″W

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about Afghanistan, the war, the people, the tragedy. I have flash backs. Nightmares. Sweat and chills coherently flow through my body--a mixture of fear and anxiety correlating at the vortex of my dreams. Reading the news each day, Afghanistan ironically piques my interest, stirs up convulsions in my mind and makes me wish I was there again. It's strange.

I got a call the other night from a good friend in England--David Bruer, an independent producer currently freelancing with Al-Jazeera. He called me out of the blue at 3am--my time. Dazed in my sleep, I originally thought it was my brother and began to panic (he never calls at 3am). Dark, cold, and confused, I crawled out of bed, sat up on the edge and tried to get my mind in focus.

"Ron....you there?" he says. "This is Dave!"

Shit. Dave never calls to say hi. Within seconds, I already knew the purpose of his call. My heart began beating faster than I could breath--the air felt so thin--and just like the flash of a synapse, my past experiences in Afghanistan flickered in my head in slow motion replays.

"I've got an assignment for you..." he says.

I didn't really care what he had to say after that. I wasn't listening. In my head, I saw my mother, father, brother, friends and family. In my heart, I saw adventure. I wanted to break away from the mundane world I live in and again witness first-hand the brutality of life at war--the triumphs and tragedies of man and his might. Out there, the pain is palpable, you can breath it in the air. For some reason, I miss that.

"I'll have to get back to you, Dave. I've got a lot goin' on right now..." I said.

We said our good-byes. I waited to hear the click on his end before hanging up. I sat there the rest of the night--pondering my options, wishing for an answer that could ease my mind. It never came. And slowly, the sun rose before me, birds sang to the tune of an orchestrated melody, the wind whispered through my window.

Tonight, I will call him back.

16 comments:

TheChicGeek said...

Hi Ron :O I bet I know what your answer is going to be. You definitely know how to live life on the edge! I can't wait to hear about all your exciting adventures...can't keep you down long...LOL!
BTY, love the picture. That's really cool!
Have a Beautiful and Safe Day!

Bon Don said...

Check out Ron! You look like a model in this picture!! :)

.... ummm buddy...you really ditching us again?

Ron said...

Hi ChicGeek. It's funny how you've already guessed my answer before even reading my next post....hmmm, maybe I should throw in a twist? LOL thanks for reading!

Bon Don: Oh come on, you're too kind. I am certainly not a model...I hate being in front of the camera posing. It makes me cringe! And hey, I never ditch my loyal readers...you guys (especially you Bon Don), are my lifeline to the blogosphere! You rock!

Hillbilly Duhn said...

Like you wouldn't take it... It seems that the thrill of the adventure is what drives you.

I think it's an awesome pic too. I hate my picture taken, I can't seem to ever be standing, making a nice face, I always get caught with my mouth open or standing particularly unflattering... Even when I pose...lol

Erin said...

Afghanistan? Jeez. Good luck, man. That's, like, worse than Saginaw. But I know you'll do great work there.

Were you there before as military or journalist?

Ron said...

HillyBilly: I dunno, you look great in your profile pic there, so you shouldn't hate getting your pic taken! :)

Erin: The last time I was in Afghanistan was with the Canadian media, embedded with the Canadian army.

bjtuxford said...

HEY RON IF YOU GO PLEASE VISIT THE BASE IN KANDAHAR AND SAY HI TO MY SON CHRIS.......

Desert Rat said...

reading this made me want to cry and I'm not sure why...but very exciting for you.

can't wait to read what you end up doing.

Best wishes,

E

Dan Denardo said...

We've got it bad, man. I described it to someone the other day as an addiction. It goes beyond habit and passion. We can't live WITH it, can't live WITHOUT it.

Bon Don said...

once again I gave you an award, but this time it's way more important than any plain old award, you know why?

Cause I made it with my own two little hands! Come on over & check it out

DUTA said...

THE AFGHANS ARE KNOWN AS VERY TOUGH FIGHTERS.BOTH THE RUSSIANS AND THE AMERICANS THOUGHT IT TO BE A PIECE OF CAKE, BUT IT'S NOT.

Indrayani aka, Indi! said...

Is that you??!! :)

Oh by the way.. I gave u an award!!
Go see my blog!

Young Traveler said...

When I get a call at 3 a.m. it's because the pizza delivery guy is there.

Bon Voyage and be safe please!

Ron said...

Desert Rat: I'm sorry it made you want to cry. But yes you're right, it is exciting...but none the less, I've decided to turn it down and wait for another assignment less dangerous.

Ron said...

Dan: I know, man. YOu're right, it is an addiction. But this addiction to war zones is like crack cocaine...it'll kill ya! Can't live with it, Can't live without it..you're right...maybe marriage is a safer bet? LOL

Bon Don: awww, you shouldn't have. Thank you!

Duta: You're absolutely right. It's a key strong hold in the Middle East that everyone wants control of, but its very difficult to grasp...maybe impossible.

Indrayani: Yes, that's me a ver years younger. Thank you for the award. I will write about it on my blog in afew days.

Young Traveler: You order Pizza at 3am? Crazy!

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