Friday, April 3, 2009

The Phone Call

Current Location: Midland, Michigan, USA / 43°37′25.0″N 84°13′45.7″W
Continued from the post below:

Breathing in deeply, my lungs filled its void with oxygen. I closed my eyes and saw nothing but darkness. The abyss was before me. Reaching for the phone, my palms felt like I had bathed it in oil--soaked in sweat as the receiver narrowly slipped from my hand.

Dialing was hard. It felt like I'd just learned how to count all over again. In retrospect, it was much like the first time I called my crush in high school. My heart was beating faster than a fugitive on the loose. I felt like I was dying.

Putting the phone to my ear, I could hear my heart beating through the speaker--as if it had resonated from the chambers of my chest. It took forever to ring. I hate calling overseas.

A voice finally answered.

"Dave, I'm sorry, man. But I won't be able to shoot for you in Kabul next month."

We had a long conversation. He's a great friend and mentor and understood exactly why I couldn't accept his assignment.

But as for me, I don't know if "I" understand why...

8 comments:

Carol said...

You have to follow your heart Ron!

A Beautiful Mind said...

Follow your instincts. Be still and listen to yourself. It is so important to know your limits.
I watched a PBS special on Joel Satore yesterday and thought of you.
http://www.pbs.org/atcloserange/whoisjoel.html

Dan Denardo said...

I feel your pain, man. Having responsibilities is a blessing and a curse. Carol said it well...follow your heart.

DUTA said...

In your subconscience you did understand why. Going to Kabul would have endangered your life and you have to think not only about yourself, but also about your family.

Small Footprints said...

It seems that you, more so than most people, have the ability to follow your intuition ... a gut instinct that tells you when to go and when to stay. It's probably why you can do the work you do! And probably why you have stayed alive through it all.

Small Footprints
http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com

Cheryl said...

.. I sort of want to hear about that phone call with the crush.

PS. I'm glad you're not going to Afghanistan. I would have been worried.

TheChicGeek said...

Hi, Ron. I agree with everyone here. You must follow your heart and if something didn't feel right about it, listen...You'll never go wrong that way.
I'm glad you will remain safe too:)

Desert Rat said...

I've been wondering what your decision was since I have not been online. I'm glad you didn't go. Not because it's dangerous and leaves you with some many bad memories to retain because that seems to be the case most places you go and I am sure you would find the beauty there along with the ugly as you do everywhere. I'm glad you didn't go because it sounds like you need a break from that world for a minute. ;-) Best wishes, E